(Source: tastefullyoffensive, via brokendictionary)
Ugh I know.
(Source: joost5, via shitsnothilarious)
why the fuck cant we text the police
lets say there is a murderer in ur house and you’re hiding behind your sofa and you do have your phone with you but you can’t call the police because the murderer might hear you
Relevant
(via laugh-til-ya-fart)
Ugh, I hate it when people say “Fuck the police”.
Don’t just fuck the police.
Take the police out on a couple dates. Take the police to the movies or a nice stroll in the park. Feed the police some delicious fondue. Make the police fall in love with you. Then, fuck the police. And then out of nowhere, stop taking calls from the police. Ignore the police. Make the police miss you. Make the police cry.
(Source: parjars, via uncagethemonster)
(Source: suffersilence, via bestlols)
Or when anyone hugs me.
(Source: so-relatable, via bestlols)
He must be so wet! Awww.
(Source: lonelycoast, via bunnyfood)
